meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The power of my boobs compel you
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
