READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
