i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
