dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
