My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
