Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize