Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
