he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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