You work out of a Hotel?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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