No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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