These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
