I must be too annoying 4 u.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
