I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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