Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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