I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
