Just fell off a train. Bad.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
