It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
