Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
