I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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