we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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