Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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