I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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