I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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