I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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