i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
