I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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