life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
