I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize