I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
