New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
