I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
