if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
