Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
