What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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