apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
