when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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