bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
