: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
