I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Did you just see the Batmobile???
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
