His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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