I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sext me about skeletons
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
