from now on my penis is your penis
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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