Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i think we sleep fucked last night...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
