I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
