I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
