I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
