PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
