We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
