yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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