Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
