I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize