I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
