so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
