I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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