Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
