So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
