About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
