I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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